Braving the Tiny Tornadoes: Terrible Twos and Troublesome Threes

Did you know the 'terrible twos' actually start in the second year of life while your child is one and may last until they’re three? Cruel, isn't it?

If you’re struggling to navigate through these challenging times, always wondering when the next tantrum might hit, consider the following tips:

• Set Limits: Your little love terrorist is all about testing boundaries, so naturally, it can be tempting to give in to their demands. However, one of the most important things you can do is to set limits. By setting clear boundaries in a consistent manner, you can help your child better understand what is acceptable and what is not.

• Offer Choices: Putting on clothes, eating food and so many other 'battles' are won by giving them the option to choose. By doing this, it will give your child a sense of control, reducing frustration and meltdowns.

• Pick your Battles: Saying “no” to every request can make your toddler feel unheard and unfairly dismissed, particularly if there is no explanation for why. While safety is a nonnegotiable, perhaps they can have a few more minutes at the park. 

• Use Distraction: Sometimes a tantrum or meltdown can be avoided by way of a well-timed distraction. Redirection to a new activity could be your ticket out of unbearable screaming. Distraction can also be a good technique if your child is bored and in need of mental stimulation.

• Hangry or tired? You’ve tried everything but your child is still overwhelming upset and you’ve no idea why, try offering them their favourite snack or getting them off to sleep. Children are not always aware of when they’re hungry, tired or unwell and even if they were, they can struggle to communicate their needs to caregivers. 

• Stay Calm: While it is normal to have heightened emotions, try your best to remain calm. Remember that this phase of life is only temporary. In the meantime, try to focus on the positive aspects of your child’s behaviour and how well you model positive behaviour for them. They may not remember their tantrums as they get older but they’re likely to remember how you reacted. Give them a safe environment to feel difficult feelings. If you can’t, remove yourself for a brief moment and breathe through your frustration. Similarly, if your child is having a tantrum or meltdown, the best thing you can do is to give them some time to calm down. Once they’ve done this, you can talk to them about what happened and how they could manage it next time.

• Positive Reinforcement: Recognise the good in your child as well as your ability to be a good parent/guardian. It’s not easy being human, and you’re both doing the best you can. Celebrate the times where everything just falls into place. 

• Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to seek support. It’s okay to ask for help, even if it is to ask if anyone else has experienced what you are currently facing.
  

If you find yourself in a situation where you need expert advice or professional guidance, do not hesitate to reach out to us. Empathetix Psychology is here to assist you in navigating the unpredictable and constantly evolving journey of parenthood.

Best wishes from the psychologists of Empathetix Psychology.